A Message Cut Short

Hey Everyone,

    Everyone on campus who heard what I was talking about in chapel today. I did not have a lot of time to say what I wanted. Those who don’t live on campus and are family members, friends and other reader will have no idea what I was talking about. Well as some of you know us students could say something about our journey here at Pacific Life Bible College(PLBC). I only had a little time to say what I wanted to. So here is the full thing I wanted to say.

    I am a first year, so my adventure here at college has been a wild one. Emotions everywhere and just finding my identity in Christ. There has been moments in other blogs that I have shared what was going on. Here is a brief journey of finding my identity in Christ. As some of you heard, I was not always a Christian. There were moments where I could have said I was but I hated who God was. I did not always share beliefs that other christians held. For family who read this, they probably did not know or maybe they did. I hid it very well. I truly did not want to do anything with religion or God. Yea I went to youth group but I just tuned God out I was there in hopes that someone would reach out to me and be my friend. It never really happened. I had dreams to be successful and rich, to be an actor or a drama teacher. Then Jesus entered my life the real deal stuff. He changed me. He put the call of a youth pastor in my heart even if I did not want to be one. Jesus saved me. (brief testimony: ask me in you want to hear the whole thing.)

    This semester has been find out who I am even through Christ. For a year, I lived on my own before coming to PLBC. I thought I had a good grasp of what I knew of myself. I was comfortable happy and thought I had it all together. Coming here God has been working in me. He took the numbness away that everything is fine I dont have to be sad, and I dont have problems. In reality, I have found int he past month, I had so much pain so many insecurities about myself, God has and still is revealing why I have them and He is working with me.    

    There has been moments this semester where I have felt alone not needed. My mentality is to fight things on my own and not let others in because other are more important then me. I ignored my problems and never dealt with my own problems. When I talked to people or was out I am happy and myself. But I never let people see how much hurt was in my life. Coming here I saw the community the love people have for one another. I have seen how they treated me I never really got encouraged until here. At PLBC I have gained friends even though it may only be 1 or 2 quality friends and many great other friends. Everyone here has touched my heart in there own ways. I love everyone here at PLBC and I love being here.

    My tendency is to just fight alone if I have a problem it is only God and me who can work on it. I never let people in. God has given me some pretty amazing friends here that have helped me. You know who you are :). This semester is only the beginning I know God has so much more planned for me! God has changed who I am and taught my heart to trust again. There are walls that have broken down here and God is an amazing God. He love every one of you. I wish I could have had time to say in front of every one. What I want to tell you. Follow Gods plan in your life. If you dont know you calling yet Ask God for it. If you know your calling follow what God is calling you to do! He wants whats best for you. I can tell you through hard times if we persevere God will strength us no matter how weak we feel.

“For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10

A little explanation

     Hey Every one, Just an update from my last blog. I was going threw a lot lately

that i have mentioned in my prayer to God. i want to let you know that what you

were reading is my raw emotion. in the moments i did not know what i was pray

but did. For God has Given me many Friends here at College. They are amazing

friend! i couldn't wish for any better. But i can tell you how much the Enemy has

been working in my life. But i know that God is greater then anything, more

powerful, and all loving. For I want to tell you in later Blogs to come what my

past was truly like. Like what i can remember and how it has effected me. I thank

 God so much for everyone around me. the ones i can confide in and trust with who

i am.

     To my amazing friends you know who you are. Thank you for being there and

dragging me out of my room( not literally) but i needed that. with out you guys i

would probably be still moping around campus. haha

     To every one who prayed. Thank you so much for keeping me in your Prayers.

It means a lot to me. more then you know. For, ever since i got to college i felt like

no one ever prayed for me.

     Oh and this is for my amazing family! Thank you for being there i know all of

you are so far away. but leaving messages and praying for me means a lot. i miss

you so much! Never feel like your not there for me (Physicaly) But to know that

you are there praying and messaging me. that is enough. i Love you. and miss

you like crazy

     and to every one else who does not know me personally thank you for reading

and taking this journey with me!

A Prayer of Unknown Sorrow.

WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT ALONE! GOD I NEED SOME ONE!. I know I have you I know

I can fight along side you God. BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT ALONE IN THE 

LONELINESS WITH HOW COMFORT with out embrace. Thats something I miss. I wish I 

could have that embrace that love people surrounding me in this moment. When things 

are tough. Lord I know all I need is you. But I need people around me to pray for me to 

comfort me I need to feel the real thing of some ones embrace. For tears stream down my 

face. This lonely ness seeps in. WHY OH GOD! DO I FEEL LIEK THIS WHY DO I HAVE TO 

FIGHT ALONE!. God I need some one. I need your love to FIll me. I need some one. The 

Friend I need by my side the most one of them also need help. The other is helping. But I 

find I can not Interrupt I cant get the right Embrace from them. Lord why do I have a hard

 time with sharing my feelings with Guys. I cant do it. I dont feel the love fro them.  

Lord I dont know why I feel like this. LORD Why is this about me. Why does it have to be 

about right now. For my sorrow is SOOO DEEP. I Pray Lord for My friends that they will

 feel loved that they will have what I cannot. That embrace that love and someone beside

 them. I need that embrace that they have but I just simply dont deserve it. I am broken.

 Only you Lord can pick up my peaces. Lord I need you to show me what is causing this 

great sorrow in my heart.

Thank You.

         Hey Every one this is an Update to my last Post. I Thank you all who have

prayed for me. For God has  been working on me and He has been so Grateful. I am

feeling a lot more strong. for there is still times i feel defeated but God picks me

back up. But Most of all Than you so much! In the moment where i am in defeat i

learned how important prayer is. One thing to know about me. i find it hard

to receive prayer from others. For me i want others to the priority. For me to pray

for them and i expect nothing from them because i want it to be all about others. I

have found that receiving is a huge part. i am still working on it. i still find it hard

to receive anything but I know it is the right thing to do. If i also may ask for more

prayer that I wouldn't find receiving things as hard as it should be

A Little Prayer Request

“The Moment when you go out with your bible in the rain and you read Gods 

word. At first you pray you feel next to nothing. Then out of no where His falls upon you, 

filling you up with His love.” - John Dyck

I have been feeling defeted lately. I still feel the more invest into people I get 

nothing… I know it is stupid to feel that way. I still feel like I am doing a lot of the work 

still like no one wants to hang out with me. I still feel like I have to be the person to go 

up to you. I know I am ranting on stuff I have said before. But it is still a struggle I am 

going through. I just pray daily for someone to instead of me hanging out with them that 

they would come to me. There have been few encounters of this that have happened. I 

loved them because it did not feel like work. It was nice I enjoy it. But most of the time I 

feel like when I need someone to talk to or someone to be there. There is no one 

around. I know I got God to talk to he is always there. I love that. But to Physically talk 

to someone and talk to them I feel a lot better.

I am making this short but I hope you can pray for me. For this is something that I 

have had to deal with my whole life just I need prayer. Thank you.

Challenging Frustration

There is sooo much frustration inside of me right now! I am loud and vocal but 

not to whats going on inside. I am getting so frustrated with myself not being able to feel 

like I tell people whats going on in my life, my struggles, pains, and who I am. I try to be 

as real as I can be! But I feel so defeated about so much right now. Homework, 

relationships and this feeling of loneliness. Which has never really gone away. I know 

this is a different type of blog tonight. But it is how I am currently feeling. 

I often feel like I am in the background of the foreground. In a sense that I am 

around people and I love it but sometimes I feel am I really here. Do they care. Sure 

they do. But to be honest I have never felt like any one has gone out of there way to be 

with me. I have always had to be that person. Thats what I mean. I am Constantly 

praying to God. He is So good but I sometimes feel He is the only one who gets me. 

Simple fact ones who know me. I am a happy person I truly am but I do have 

moments of defeat. Where I am on my nee’s and cry out to God to comfort me. He does 

but sometimes I don’t feel right right away. I now I should go to some one and tell them 

whats going on but I dont know I have always held my self back because of insecurities. 

I’m the listener I help others. I dont expect others to do the same for me. Thats how I 

live. Its hard for me to accept others to help me. I cant remember a time where some 

one just approached me and wanted to hang out with me. If some one can remind me I 

dont want to offend any one. But it rarely happens I cant remember if it does.

This is my thoughts tonight. I am going through a struggle. I wish I could feel like 

I could tell people how I am. How I truly am. God just reminded me it is the weak who 

lead the strong. David. Why he was only a little Boy when he defeated Goliath. My 

message to you if you feel like this your not a lone. I still have things to work on. I still 

need to let go of these stupid insecurities. I know I put on this mask of I got it all 

together. But do we really have it all together? 

Lord, You are a mighty God. You are such a Loving God. You protect us you are 

ever so present. Lord I pray that you will help me with these insecurities. And anyone 

else who feels the way I do tonight. Lord will you Do Your work in my life and others. 

You have taught me so much in this past month and a bit. I know you want to teach me 

something through this tough time in my life. Lord just protect me and guide me in paths 

of righteousness, lay me beside quite waters. So that I can hear your voice that can 

calm the raging seas. Lord you are an amazing God. In you beautiful name, Amen

The Win and the Victory Celebration

I will say that struggles will get you down. you don’t know how to deal with how 

you are feeling. confused, dried out and just burdened. We all feel like this. we all have 

struggles. i want to let you know that you don’t have to do it alone. it is common 

knowledge for us Christians to go to God when things get hard that we cant do on our 

own. I often think about but don’t act on it.

For the past week i have been struggling with what my relationships with others 

are like. I got confused about how i feel about them. should i hang out with other people 

or stay. I love who i am hanging out with but i was also left with this feeling of maybe i 

should be with others. make friends. What has held me back is that i alway have to 

Work at it and feel like no one wants to invest time into me. i have to invest time into 

them and work hard on it. i get tired and worn out. sometime i feel like maybe no one 

really wants me around. maybe thats why no one really talks to me. 

But i know that God through my Struggles he will Give me strength which he 

does. tonight i had an amazing encounter with God. I was struggling with my Emotions 

on how i should feel with one of my friends. i felt so torn and warn out. but God spoke to 

me. It was funny. because he was listening to all my prayers that i have been praying 

about this week. He spoke to me and John you are going to do great be a friend. a 

friend that can be there for others. even though i feel like i don’t have many friends here. 

sorry if that sounds bad. i have friends but ones i hang out with and spend time with, get 

to know and have meaningful conversations with. He was telling be just to be a good 

friend don't think of anything else just be there for them and you will be fine. I will Supply 

you with what you need and trust in me. 

I can not simply ignore that. It came from God. My Father. He sent Jesus down 

for me. he took all my sins upon that cross. How could i not follow Him. Cant you hear 

me! He died for you and for me! Thats how much he loves us. Who couldn't follow God. 

He is the only one that Loves everyone. He doesn't care what you have done. If you 

follow Him and walk along side Jesus. There are many rewards. Be faithful. even when 

it is hard. Jesus will reward you. It is not all about “good” works. Its about a relationship 

with Him. You’ve done drugs, you have been drunk and had sex. God looks at that and 

says “I love you enough that i sent my son down. I don't care i want to love you. and be 

with you in your hard time Please let me be there with you.” he is Calling out to you. Yes 

we are not perfect. He is and he comes to our level and wants to be with us. cant you 

see how amazing that is. That the almighty God, the all powerful God, the God of love 

just wants to be with you.

He Showed me tonight that i have struggles but if you talk to him about them he 

will carry you and care for you. My biggest struggle is with Relationships. but God calls 

me to be a youth pastor. i can be so terrified around people and not show it. but i will 

hide go into the background. but sometime i feel like i am the background and no one 

notices me. its true. but it takes God to show me who i really am in the troubled times. 

he loves me and he loves you. so i encourage you talk to God about whats going on in 

your life. don't be afraid that you will feel rejected. it is a battle i am still fighting. i say 

don't be afraid for you and me. i am just being real with you. If you need some one to 

talk to E-mail me Facebook me i want to talk. i want to help you. I love you guys and I 

don't care what you have done. i just want to know you and help you through as best as 

i can.

Feelings

Father, I come to you right now with mixed feelings. In many ways i am so happy. 

but there are time where i feel confused or unsure of what i am to do. Guide me For 

what you have in store in my life. may what i have to say open peoples eyes or inform 

them that there not the only ones and that there is a loving God like you. In your Sons 

Precious name, Amen.

Feelings. I want to start with that word. It defines how we feel: Happy, Sad, 

Excited, and the list goes on. It is funny lately i just have had mixed emotions about 

many things. I go threw ups and downs. Many times i want to tell people whats going on 

up in this Head of mine. For the most part i cant make sense of it. But i find what helps 

is talking to God. It is a form of clearing and organizing my mind. like wise with 

Blogging. i know i rant a lot. It is how i organize my Private world. 

Back to how feelings can change a lot of who you are. i have learned that people 

are different. I know it is a given but think about it. sometime you feel the ones close to 

you are just so in sync with who you are, the way you feel around them you feel good. 

they just feel normal they complete who you are. you seem to find out who you are if 

your aware of who you are. i want to say this though. Do not let people around mold 

who you are. Only you can do that. be strong and mold yourself who you want to be. Let 

Christ Mold who you are as well. i encourage that. we can all take something away from  

Jesus and use it to shape who we are.

Right now i have a couple friends on campus that make me feel good with who i 

am that i don’t have to hide who i am. Don’t hide who you are. You are special. i want to 

let you know that. if people put you down or don’t like you for who you are. thats there 

choice to loose some one as amazing as you. 

It is hard sometimes trying to release some part of who you are. Though’s are 

areas of your life with the most pain. you don’t want any one to see that part of you. I 

get that. I truly do. what i want to tell you. find some one you can confide in and tell 

them. if some one Loves you. they will not reject you. instead they will embrace you and 

tell you. i want to help you and be there for you.

I just paused for a moment just now... i just thought how God is Really Changing 

who i am for the Good. I feel such a Peace. As some of you know what my passion is, 

for some who don’t i want to let you know my passion is with youth. But to further that It 

goes way beyond that. it is what God has showing me I have a Passion for people. for 

you guys. God has Been burning that Fire more and more every passing day of college. 

I just love people. we are not perfect i know. but the passion is to help you. thats why i 

Blog. You are my inspiration. With out God Stoking this fire i would not write. 

Romans 8:30 “and those whom he Predestined he also called, and those whom 

he justified he also Glorified.”

Time Spent

I want to start something. It is something I have been learning at school. I want to 

open in a brief prayer. Lord, I come to you tonight as your Servant. Use me to your will. 

As i write my blog Lord just speak life into it. Help the ones who read it learn from it. In 

your precious name, Amen

There is a price for everything. The wages of death. What you browsed in the 

store. There is also a price on your time you spend. I want to touch up on that last one. 

Your time. How are you spending it. I want to tell you this is one thing that I have been 

learning. I never thought of time as something to be spent. I never thought of its 

importance.

I want to tell you that because it truly has been something of a new struggle for 

me. Tonight i totally could have gone to the Owl City concert. Trust me i wanted to, It 

sucked that I did not go but I do not regret not going because I got stuff done. But I 

Decided not to. You want to know why? it is because i am in school. I have homework. I 

never did homework in high school. I just did in in school so I never brought it home with 

me. It still baffles me that i am in college. 

I never had a mom to tell me to do my homework I never got nagged. My work 

ethic SUCKED. I am Working on it. You see I am finding day after day I am not 

motivating myself. Heres the cool thing. God is motivating me. He is teaching me to do 

my work. Because all the work I do here is for Him not me. I have been Learning so 

much.

Back to the topic at hand. Time. don’t take it for granted Use it wisely. I am still 

learning how to spend it wisely. i’m sorry to inform you. I am not perfect... DARN! 

secrets out... sorry was pride showing. Back to being serious here. I want to let you 

know if your a procrastinator like me. There is hope for you. 

When there is truly something you want to do. You have the passion for it. You 

will give yourself up to God and your passions. You will do anything to do what God is 

calling you to do. You can not ignore it. I sacrificed a lot to get to college. I can get into 

details about that later in another blog perhaps.

In closing I want to let you know if you struggle with work or not getting things 

accomplished. Bring it to God. For some it is easy, others it is hard. I get that but think of 

being “All In”. Deuteronomy 6:5 “Love the Lord your God with All your Heart and with All 

your Soul and All your Strength.” This is the theme at my school this year. It is so true 

though. If you give God All your Heart, Soul and Strength. It will show it makes a 

difference. God gives you the motivation. Heres the challenge: will you give God All your  

Heart, Soul and Strength?

Really Changing Through Honesty

        This is going to be a different type of blog then usual. As a college student now. Have felt God work. So you are caught up with my life I am now in college and a pretty amazing one at that. It is called Pacific Life Bible College. For the week and a half of being here God has changed me. To come from lazy doing nothing but gaming or sitting there being inactive in my faith; now God has brought me to a place where I am challenged daily threw many obstacles. I am truly blessed to be here. God has brought amazing people in my life. People who support me and accept me... How amazing is God. My life constantly consisted in being in the background and hiding and being inactive. Think of the colour grey. It is boring not interesting. You don't want to be around it because it does not make any change. Back in the day black and white movies were huge!!! But then! The "Wizard of OZ" came out. People saw as an every day movie. Black and white and normal not changing. But when Dorothy and Toto walked out the door. BAM!!!! The first coloured movie! People's jaws Dropped!!!! Literally the crowd could not comprehend what was going on. Just like me; I in many ways was like that crowd. I was numb and bored of the black and white films but then God came in and showed me colour a new shade many shades! Yes I know I am a Christian but an inactive one. One who felt God and walked with him but never done anything really. But God brought me to PLBC for a purpose. To full fill my calling and to find out more of who I am. So the past week and a half I have been really struggling with being accepted and to be noticed. Let's say I tried to hard. ( but still maintaining who I am) to night after work I got to my dorms and went to the A Frame (which is kinda a hang out yet living area where every one hangs out.) so there was a group of people amazing people. Who where talking and I came in time to witness them start praying for the girls of the campus. I really felt Gods spirit fill me up when Emily(one of my friends) turned the topic to us guys and started praying for us guys to be strong and be warriors and to be men of God. After the prayer was done. I still felt Gods presence inside of me I paced I wanted to talk to people but I couldn't. It felt impossible to make a sound. I finally sat down at a table. Where Makayla (another friend) said " John your awesome." but I said thanks but never felt anything. After a little prayer God told me to get up and get out of the room. So I got up and stormed out.... Well I thought it was. What every one said is I was a quite storm... Haha I love you guys. But I followed beside the outside sidewalk and went to the field where Gods presence came upon me. I felt q battle being fought inside of me. I felt weak and unaccepted not courageous not a warrior. After crying for what felt like a half hour. God told me to get up again. I had to obey Him. So I made my way back to the A frame. I got to the door. I got my key ready( at this moment I did not want to see anyone.) I stood out there for 5 min asking God what are you doing. In that 5 min I ended up slowly putting my key in and out. I finally put it in and pulled the door open a little bit. I was about to close it when my roommate Charles came threw the door. He saw me my first though was ..... Ah crap... Now I have to talk my eyes are red he can see I have been crying. He said "You want to talk?" I said sure. We talked about how work went and what the Spirit of conviction was laying on me. After an amazing talk I told him. "I need prayer can we get every one to pray for me" then we went back into the A frame. There is when God worked his amazing love. I told every one what was going on. With me feeling weak unworthy. Oh and one thing that made me feel good is another friend tackled me and it was awesome. At this moment after every one encouraging me and supporting me. That's when I realized the loneliness the meaningless thoughts that surrounded my head were part of what the enemy wanted. He was scared that I was following God. And so they started to pray for me. And God made him self so present. A peace and joyful tears rolled down my face as I came to realize that Gods love is so present in every one there. I have always felt that no one cared about me except family and God. As I came from a life of rejection and hurt. But then As I heard there prayers being lifted to God a new passion was created. I was already commented to be "All In"( our schools theme) but God confirmed to me to be all in. An anointing of the holy spirit saying now your "All In" heart, mind, soul and strength. I want to say thank you to every one who prayed for me and I was to say you guys are awesome! And for though's who want to gain something out of this I want to let you know that, if you feel alone or unwanted there is a God who want to be there for you. If you feel like no one understands you. Think again. I want to pray for you and walk with you. The prayers that were prayed for me tonight have changed me. Prayer is a powerful thing! If you want to talk to me. You can e-mail me at john.kcyd@gmail.com or if you are on campus and reading this and want to talk I would love to! I have been where you've been. May God bless you. He Loves you SO MUCH!!! To quote veggie tales " God made you special and loves you very much!

Words with Trust

      Words and trust. I want to touch on these subjects if I may. I want to start with words. With words they can heal but they can bring pain. When talking to some one then being interrupted and the conversation gets lost. It hurts. But even though it happens you always have God to talk to he will always listen to what you have to say. No matter what. As humans we are not perfect. We have sin, we have our own problems. I want to create a relationship out of all the conversations I have . Sure you and the other may not get along or you do. Great! But my life when ever I talked I was always interrupted or unheard. I always felt left out. But as I grew I came to realize that God will give an opportunity. It may not be Right away but you will be heard you will be some one who people can trust. I will touch on that next. But now I want to continue my story. In the past when I was in a group of friends. When I started talking some one else would start and people would always listen to the other person instead of me. It created an insecurity inside of me. I will admit I am still working on it and now that I am in college now, I feel God transforming me from the inside working in ways I never expected. He truly is a loving God. If you wonder why this was brought up there has been times this week where it brought this issue up. But God taught me a lot from it. Be peasant. In a relationship you need to get to a point where people want to talk to you there needs to be trust. A trust that they know stuff they say will be safe with you. You don't have to tell them every detail be careful. Some times you may say the wrong thing. But when God tells you to talk, talk. Listen to Gods voice. Sometimes talking all the time in not the right thing to do because people want to talk and want a simple head nod. It can make them feel like your really listening. But when instructed by God talk. Don't just blurt out sympathy or your opinion with out God. If they want to hear what you want to say they will let you know; it could be by them saying what do you think or want to just hear you talk for a while. That's just my little rant tonight I hope you guys learned something I hope you keep reading a learning threw Christ. May God bless you and Keep you.

Lonlieness

I want to get straight to the point. Tonight I want to talk about loneliness. In these moments we often feel defeated. I have been there in the past and even now. It is a hard thing. Doubts fill our minds and we just want to give up. We feel unworthy for anyone. At least I do. But I am right now I am reminded of the poem "Footprints In the Sand." by Mary Stevenson. ( http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm/ ) I love that poem. But frankly I right now feel like I need a lot of prayer. I have delt with loneliness all my life but... Now more then ever. As for people who don't know me I live on my own. It is hard. A first I loved it the freedom but now not having my mom or any other family around me I miss every one. I take for granted my friends. I sometimes feel like this loneliness will stay with me but I know with my hear that Jesus is carrying me. But sometime I don't feel him. I want to believe he is and I know he is... But.. It is just the fact that I don't have much people to talk to in my life outside of work and in life. I always leave feeling dry like does any one care. Most of my life I felt i had to do all the work in all of my relationships while others just wait around tell I do something or say something. I feel like I invest so much but get to little. I pray even now that the Lord will bring people who want to invest time into me I feel soo exhausted doing this it is hard. I cry out I LOVE YOU LORD. But my mind says I am not worthy, I feel like I am abandoned and alone it's hard. I know I will never give up on you Lord you say I am in your hands. I need to feel your embrace. My heart is burdened. I need a sweet release I looked in mountains high and valleys low I searched for some one. I have you Lord your enough but you said one thing was wrong. "it is not good that you are alone."( Gen. 2:18) yes right now I am talking about how I feel alone. And yes the single life is hard. As I said it is not good that you are alone. Did you know that Adam alone was the first thing that was not good. God I know you will bring some one in my life worthy that I could love and she who also will love me back. But Lord I pray aganced all evil that will get in my way. For purity is what I seek. And some one who loves you more then she could ever love me. I am going though such a hard time but I want to put my trust in you. If you have felt like this. Read that and know you are not alone. You are not the only one who feels these things. But also give God all your trust that he will bless you. If you need prayer I will be praying for you. If you feel like you have gone to far or have a heavy heart from burdens give then to God he will release you from it. Even though I am hurting I am reminded of Job. He lost every thing but he still remained faithful to God. All he lost all the pain he went through he got so much more in return. So I tell you that you are loved you are important. Don't give up persevere though this and you will gain great rewards. Nothing is pointless in this life God has a plan for each of us. If you think you are a mistake or worthless. You are not a mistake your here for a reason. God loves you and I love you. God has tough me how to love. With out his grace and love I couldn't do it. He brings peace to this weary heart. Don't give up it is only the beginning.

True Story! I Swear!

So there was a turtle. The end great story eh? The topic today I want to share is story's. Many of you love story's. We never question it story's are just awesome. Not only like books. But also the amazing story's your friends tell. You know what I am talking about. Like here is an example so I was walking down the street when all of a sudden...I saw The avengers laying in the field having a picnic. When I of a sudden I saw up in the tree ready to swing down. Yogi bear! Out of all things this was becoming an epic day. Yogi then swoops down to get the picnic basket. None of the avengers saw it coming so Bruce Banner got mad. And well you don't want to see him when he gets angry. He then jumped up and ran towards yogi bear. With a roar yogi dropped the basket. The hulk then picked up and pranced through the flowers with a big smile. He brought it back to the group and they lived happily ever after. See was that story not wonderful. God has made story part of us he made us love story's because is the ultimate story teller. Wouldn't you love to get a bed time story from God. It would be amazing. Just as Jesus came down to this earth he told many story's. They are called parables. Every time you read them you just get a fresh meaning to them no matter how many times you've read them. Jesus was an amazing story teller. I tell you don't take story's for granted. Some may be stupid like the story I made up. But story's are just magical. Story's can even pass down wisdom or knowledge. Just like King Solomon. Many story's came out of his life. Like biggest thing you can learn from him is he had a lot of wife's... Yes a lot I'm not talking about 5 no 700 wife's and 300 concubines. Lesson here don't merry 700 wife's. But Solomon was very wise. When God asked Solomon for Anything! And I mean anything. He did not ask for woman power money true happiness. No he asked for wisdom. God saw that and gave Solomon power money and yes woman as you saw earlier.... -.- But a great place for amazing story's is the bible. So I encourage you to start reading the bible and read the amazing story's taken place in there. The story's you will Read are very true!

True Fathers Day

As today we calibrate fathers day. For some of us we have grown up with pretty great dads. But some have not had a dad or not not have one that supportive and what you would call a good one. But for thoughts with fathers love them cherish them for they have protected you through your family's up and downs. For though's with out ones that are not part of there life or are not around. For you today is hard. Like me I have never known my dad when I was a kid my dad was around but I only have few memory's with him. Living with out a father in my life has impacted me a lot more then other would see. For me I take my example from the perfect Father. My God in heaven. He has grown me into a man of God I have had to go through a lot with out the support of a loving dad. But I have learned a lot from not having one. 1. I have aspired to one day and have a family and have kids so I can love them and show them the love of a father. Not a perfect father but just some one they can come to. There comes hurts with a father not being there. Like for me I some times think that I can't be a man I don't fit in with other guys because I feel like because I have not had a father I can't be a man. But then I start to think about how great God his and how he said he is a perfect father and he will be with us and help us through any thing and teach us how to be who we are. So I say to you who have great fathers rejoice in them give them a great fathers day tell them that you love them. show them how much you love them. For though's who don't I encourage you to ask God what gift can I give you today. Is it worship is it prayer or just spending time with God. But do it full heartily not half or particle Full with all your heart. Thats what he would love. So for this fathers day celebrate it with all you got. Gods loves you. so much he would not ignore you for anything he is always listening to you and taking care of you.

Temptation

This one is for the guys. Don't let temptation control you. Lust is a destructive path. Stay pure. You may say I can't do it. It is impossible I only can go a day without it. I will tell you something okay. The majority of my youth was waisted in front of a screen. It was hard it was an addiction. But once I let Jesus in I felt weight lift off me. It is not as easy as it sounded. It took years upon years to ride my life of it and keep my self pure. It was a rough path I sought out images to fill that non-existent hole that "needed" to be filled. I will tell you that it's the plan of the enemy that you will fall back into temptation. I want to share some scripture with you. " No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Cor. 10:13. So let's start at the beginning of this verse. "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind." what it is saying is that temptations of this world affect us a lot. It is hard to get past them. The images that you look at is sinful. That sinful nature is very destructive it can lead you in many other temptations that you would not expect you would ever do. But then it says, "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." If you were like me when I had thoughs thoughts of this is wrong I don't want to do this. But then you see it and then you fall into the same temptations. Then you feel guilty, ashamed and powerless to stop. god never give you more then you can bear. It may be so hard but bring God into it. It will help so much. Also along this path when you walk through this and you talk to God about what you are doing he never scolds you he never storms away going, " dude your on your own. You started this now your going to have to fix it yourself." Gods not like that. "But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." read that and really take that in. It is going to be a long and painful road. But don't give up hope every time you are tempted God is always beside you saying, " Do you really want to do this." you know the feeling of "maybe I shouldn't." then you shrug it off then you fulfill you lustful desires. That feeling of don't do it is Gods way of saying don't do it this is your way out. Once you acknowledge the fact that God is calling you away from that. LISTEN TO HIM!! Seriously. It will change you. I will tell you that listening the voice of God has helped me be porn free for 2 years. Like I the title says " Changing Through Honesty" I am be honest to you. The first step is to be honest to yourself. You see this journey I walked it by my self. Worst decision ever, but I have learned a lot in that time. Get friends together be honest and tell them that you are having problems. It is better then walking it alone like I did. I challenge you something. When tempted listen to Gods voice. Also when tempted and you can't hear the voice of God imagine that you mom or worse your grandma is going to walk into the door right when you click that link. Nothing worse. But as I end this I want you to pray to God for purity and just the strength to conquer this. If your struggling I want to be a part of your life and help you through this. It is a hard path to keep a clean and pure mind but when you bring God I to that part of you life you will see a transformation. Because Jesus wants to be in every single part of your life. I mean every tiny minuscule part of your life everything. Invite him it will change the way you think, act and see life. So I invite you to talk to God about it. If you need help I am most willing to help you. And know that I am praying for you. I honestly love you guys and know what you are going through.

The Encounter

The Encounter

By John Dyck

Here's how it is. I was just walking down the street. When I found something interesting. It was the size of a quarter, spherical, really light, and a strange shade of white; none that the world had seen. It was to pure. So I put it in my pocket and continued to walk. But there was this feeling tugging on my heart. Curiosity, surely it is but there is something else to this feeling. I started to feel like I was starting to stretch. Next I feel a smack on the back of my head. Did some one strike my head with a blunt object? My vision went dark. Dark. Why am I still conscious. "HELLO" I yelled. My shout sounded to faded so I yelled with all I had. Still it sounded muted. I started to walk but I was not walking on the ground. What's going on I'm blind and i can't feel the ground! Why is this happening! I soon realized I felt so good. So alive! Full of energy. I remembered the little orb in my pocket. I reached in and brought it out. All of a sudden I could see again. But not in the way you would think. I saw Floating in the air rocks getting smashed together. I feared what was going on. The sight of it was enough to make any man cower in fear. Then a shift happened. The sun appeared like some one was molding it with his own hands. It was so beautiful. But then I got distracted by what was going on with the floating rocks. All around it stars popped up around it I looked all around me I saw the planets form right before my very eyes. As I looked back to the closest rock, which now I knew it was earth. I saw lush green form all around it. At the poles snow and ice formed. The world I knew looked different. Oh so different. So new to full of life. So beautiful. I then floated down To the surface. I saw a mighty hand reach down into the clay and he formed man out of its hands. The plants where so colourful and radiant. The animals so clean, pure and nothing like what we see today. Then a powerful voice spoke to the man, "you may eat of any tree of the garden," the the powerful voice got very serious and stern. "But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat! For in the day that you eat of it you shall surly die." As he ended his voice had a sad tone to it. I watched as the man fell into a deep sleep. The hand showed up again. But the hand went inside the man and took out a single rib bone, and the sound of a deep breath inhaling then exhaling woman was formed. The man awoke to see the most beautiful thing standing in front of him for in this moment he was truly happy. I though to myself what's going on? Is this not the story of Adam and Eve? Doubts flooded in my mind as I saw a great serpent. It looked similar but different then the snakes of my world. This one it stood on 4 feet. It was mighty powerful like it could devour anything in it's path. The serpents facial features shifted frequently. It put chills down my spine. For a couple seconds it looked directly at me. Fear, doubt, pride, arrogance, and a whole range of negative emotions rushed through my body as its cold eyes looked at me. Then turned to Eve and spoke. "Did God really say,' you shall not eat of any tree in the garden.'?" but Eve said, " we may eat if any tree of the garden, but not of the tree in the middle of the garden. For God said we surly would die." then the serpent laughed in reply, " you surly won't die for God knows that when you eat of the fruit, you will be like God knowing good and evil." she then turned and walked toward the tree. She then reached up. But stopped half way for Adam called for her. "what are you doing Eve! For God told me not to eat of the tree or we surly will die." Eve replied with what the serpent told her. She then reached and grabbed an apple. She then looked at the apple for it was tempted her since she now touched it. Eve lifted the apple to her lips and she ate. At this moment I wanted to intervene. Why cant I move. I tried hard to get to them. To stop them. But that's when I felt some ones hand on my shoulder. A soft voice whispered in my ear. "My son surly you would not make a difference. Please watch what happens and learn from their mistakes." I turned with tears in my eyes to look at the man who stood there with arms wide open. As I looked upon the man I feared him and I fell to my knees and looked away. "Son get up don't fear I come to show you the truth." he kneeled down to me as a servant rushing to his master. He picked me up and I fell into his sweet embrace. As I looked back to garden. It was gone the world went dull and desolate. Storm clouds formed. "sin now has entered the world." the man explained. "who are you? Is this a dream? Can you explain?" the man stood there smiling. I have many names. People know me as Jesus." I looked upon him with open eyes to see him revile his hands and feet for they had holes in them. Before he could aw see the other questions. I asked, "How did that happen?" he then turned away and pointed to a gruesome scene of a man hanging on a cross, bloody and dis-configured. I had to look away but being in Jesus's presence gave me the strength to watch what happened before my eyes. The man cried out loud,"father forgive them for they not know what they do." then moments late he spoke his final words " Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." and he breathed his last breath. I finally realized who that was on the cross. "Was that you Jesus? Why did you die?" I said as I was confused. He looked at me with intense eyes. "you saw my final day on this earth. For I died for you . I died for your sins so that you could live your life free from death. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and who ever believes in me shall not parish but have eternal life. You see? I love you so much that Is why I died on that cross." then he gave me on final embrace. I woke up in a sweat. I was in a hospital. I thought to my self what happened why am I here? I then opened my hand and saw the white orb sink into my hand. A nurse came in and asked if I was feeling okay. I told her I was but I followed by asking what happened. She told me that I got hit by a car and that the driver fell asleep at the wheel. The nurse left and my mother and father walked into the room. Surprised they managed to find me since I ran away 6 months ago. But with a smile and open loving arms they embraced me. Why the change? My abusive parents here? Loving me? I was really confused. Did they find out who Jesus was? Then I realized what i had experienced could change even the hardest hearts. So I shared what I experienced. Through the visit of Jesus my life as a apostle stared.

Don't Fear

There will always be some sort of evil. I guess that's what you would call it. A form of 

doubt and fear. Yes. We all experience it. But here's the question. Why do we allow it to control us? Why is it always present? No no no. I am not talking about the little fears, but even then it can seam like though's are big. But no I am talking about the big ones. Like Social, physical and emotional fears. It always seams like you can't get away from them. 

Well I have taught my self that fear controls you because you let it. Yes... Yes. I like that. Hahaha laugh at the fear, at the the darkness we all have inside. 

Once you feel it lifting you will see one thing. it is not you who is lifting it off. No no... Think of it this way. Jesus. Ah huh!! I got it yes yes! You know the prayers that you pray. Well let's just say they are never ignored. You may not see results right away. Hmmm well maybe you do. Sometimes. But God always has a plan. You might get a yes or a no or yet you might get a yes.... But not right now I will bring it into your life when your ready. But this is the thing!!! Haha they way you want it. Well I'm sorry to tell you. It might not be they way you want it. But God makes the prayer show it's self in a way you could not even imagine. It will be so much better then what you thought!! When you look at the way you saw the pray it seems dull and boring. Uhhhggg it's happened so many times the way He works my thoughts can just some times be so dull. Why oh why is it dull. God yes I see. You do thing in such a holy way. We need to act in a way that holy to keep what God has given us. So yes the fear that I feel it is hard. Oh so very hard to get rid of!! I scream, "God get rid of these unneeded fears. You tell us don't let it control us. but but but it is Hard! I need the fears lifted of me Lord. Oh Father how you love me." 

As I stand here pondering on what I have spoken out loud. We all should know that feeling of the Holy Spirit resting upon us giving us comfort and strength. I can feel Him moving in. Oh what a sweet embrace. Jesus.. Jesus.. Oh how great you are. Oh what you sacrificed for us. Oh what passion you have for us. You love us so much.. Why can't I love you the way you love me. 

Well thats another thing we may not know how to love like God, but it is good enough for him. We go on with our days thinking to our self's what if we talked to Jesus through all our thoughts. Because He was to be in our life's. No I know what you are saying right now. I don't want him in my secret life apart from him. Yes yes I am a Christian. Yes I believe in Jesus but I want to live my own life. Why I say to you. You may say it is simpler. I'm saved that's all that matters. No! Keep him on your mind he will help you with though's burdens that you hide from him. When you bring him into everything in your life then truly I tell you life will get better harder but better. He will teach so much. He loves us all. That's all that truly matters. When we let him into all our fears and insecurities. He will breath life into us. A very sweet breath that intoxicates us all. Let him breath life into your dry bones and live the life God has for you.

Intro

Of  late. I John have been writing story's to get things out of my system. i am using this as a way where people can kinda be updated about my life. issues i may be having or just fun little story's that i want people to laugh at. I might post prayers and thoughts to this blog as well. but ultimately i want to use this as a help to though's who are in need and also who want to get to know me better. As i walk through my life with Christ i want to tell you that it is never hopeless even when things are tough. persevere through the rough patches and rejoice in the happiness that follows. i hope that the story's i will share will give you something to think about or take something away and apply it to your life. but maybe you just want to read something with bad grammar and spelling. WHO KNOWS! as I say the last words in my intro all i have to say is, "Enjoy."