I want to get straight to the point. Tonight I want to talk about loneliness. In these moments we often feel defeated. I have been there in the past and even now. It is a hard thing. Doubts fill our minds and we just want to give up. We feel unworthy for anyone. At least I do. But I am right now I am reminded of the poem "Footprints In the Sand." by Mary Stevenson. ( http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm/ ) I love that poem. But frankly I right now feel like I need a lot of prayer. I have delt with loneliness all my life but... Now more then ever. As for people who don't know me I live on my own. It is hard. A first I loved it the freedom but now not having my mom or any other family around me I miss every one. I take for granted my friends. I sometimes feel like this loneliness will stay with me but I know with my hear that Jesus is carrying me. But sometime I don't feel him. I want to believe he is and I know he is... But.. It is just the fact that I don't have much people to talk to in my life outside of work and in life. I always leave feeling dry like does any one care. Most of my life I felt i had to do all the work in all of my relationships while others just wait around tell I do something or say something. I feel like I invest so much but get to little. I pray even now that the Lord will bring people who want to invest time into me I feel soo exhausted doing this it is hard. I cry out I LOVE YOU LORD. But my mind says I am not worthy, I feel like I am abandoned and alone it's hard. I know I will never give up on you Lord you say I am in your hands. I need to feel your embrace. My heart is burdened. I need a sweet release I looked in mountains high and valleys low I searched for some one. I have you Lord your enough but you said one thing was wrong. "it is not good that you are alone."( Gen. 2:18) yes right now I am talking about how I feel alone. And yes the single life is hard. As I said it is not good that you are alone. Did you know that Adam alone was the first thing that was not good. God I know you will bring some one in my life worthy that I could love and she who also will love me back. But Lord I pray aganced all evil that will get in my way. For purity is what I seek. And some one who loves you more then she could ever love me. I am going though such a hard time but I want to put my trust in you. If you have felt like this. Read that and know you are not alone. You are not the only one who feels these things. But also give God all your trust that he will bless you. If you need prayer I will be praying for you. If you feel like you have gone to far or have a heavy heart from burdens give then to God he will release you from it. Even though I am hurting I am reminded of Job. He lost every thing but he still remained faithful to God. All he lost all the pain he went through he got so much more in return. So I tell you that you are loved you are important. Don't give up persevere though this and you will gain great rewards. Nothing is pointless in this life God has a plan for each of us. If you think you are a mistake or worthless. You are not a mistake your here for a reason. God loves you and I love you. God has tough me how to love. With out his grace and love I couldn't do it. He brings peace to this weary heart. Don't give up it is only the beginning.
