A Little Prayer Request

“The Moment when you go out with your bible in the rain and you read Gods 

word. At first you pray you feel next to nothing. Then out of no where His falls upon you, 

filling you up with His love.” - John Dyck

I have been feeling defeted lately. I still feel the more invest into people I get 

nothing… I know it is stupid to feel that way. I still feel like I am doing a lot of the work 

still like no one wants to hang out with me. I still feel like I have to be the person to go 

up to you. I know I am ranting on stuff I have said before. But it is still a struggle I am 

going through. I just pray daily for someone to instead of me hanging out with them that 

they would come to me. There have been few encounters of this that have happened. I 

loved them because it did not feel like work. It was nice I enjoy it. But most of the time I 

feel like when I need someone to talk to or someone to be there. There is no one 

around. I know I got God to talk to he is always there. I love that. But to Physically talk 

to someone and talk to them I feel a lot better.

I am making this short but I hope you can pray for me. For this is something that I 

have had to deal with my whole life just I need prayer. Thank you.

Challenging Frustration

There is sooo much frustration inside of me right now! I am loud and vocal but 

not to whats going on inside. I am getting so frustrated with myself not being able to feel 

like I tell people whats going on in my life, my struggles, pains, and who I am. I try to be 

as real as I can be! But I feel so defeated about so much right now. Homework, 

relationships and this feeling of loneliness. Which has never really gone away. I know 

this is a different type of blog tonight. But it is how I am currently feeling. 

I often feel like I am in the background of the foreground. In a sense that I am 

around people and I love it but sometimes I feel am I really here. Do they care. Sure 

they do. But to be honest I have never felt like any one has gone out of there way to be 

with me. I have always had to be that person. Thats what I mean. I am Constantly 

praying to God. He is So good but I sometimes feel He is the only one who gets me. 

Simple fact ones who know me. I am a happy person I truly am but I do have 

moments of defeat. Where I am on my nee’s and cry out to God to comfort me. He does 

but sometimes I don’t feel right right away. I now I should go to some one and tell them 

whats going on but I dont know I have always held my self back because of insecurities. 

I’m the listener I help others. I dont expect others to do the same for me. Thats how I 

live. Its hard for me to accept others to help me. I cant remember a time where some 

one just approached me and wanted to hang out with me. If some one can remind me I 

dont want to offend any one. But it rarely happens I cant remember if it does.

This is my thoughts tonight. I am going through a struggle. I wish I could feel like 

I could tell people how I am. How I truly am. God just reminded me it is the weak who 

lead the strong. David. Why he was only a little Boy when he defeated Goliath. My 

message to you if you feel like this your not a lone. I still have things to work on. I still 

need to let go of these stupid insecurities. I know I put on this mask of I got it all 

together. But do we really have it all together? 

Lord, You are a mighty God. You are such a Loving God. You protect us you are 

ever so present. Lord I pray that you will help me with these insecurities. And anyone 

else who feels the way I do tonight. Lord will you Do Your work in my life and others. 

You have taught me so much in this past month and a bit. I know you want to teach me 

something through this tough time in my life. Lord just protect me and guide me in paths 

of righteousness, lay me beside quite waters. So that I can hear your voice that can 

calm the raging seas. Lord you are an amazing God. In you beautiful name, Amen

The Win and the Victory Celebration

I will say that struggles will get you down. you don’t know how to deal with how 

you are feeling. confused, dried out and just burdened. We all feel like this. we all have 

struggles. i want to let you know that you don’t have to do it alone. it is common 

knowledge for us Christians to go to God when things get hard that we cant do on our 

own. I often think about but don’t act on it.

For the past week i have been struggling with what my relationships with others 

are like. I got confused about how i feel about them. should i hang out with other people 

or stay. I love who i am hanging out with but i was also left with this feeling of maybe i 

should be with others. make friends. What has held me back is that i alway have to 

Work at it and feel like no one wants to invest time into me. i have to invest time into 

them and work hard on it. i get tired and worn out. sometime i feel like maybe no one 

really wants me around. maybe thats why no one really talks to me. 

But i know that God through my Struggles he will Give me strength which he 

does. tonight i had an amazing encounter with God. I was struggling with my Emotions 

on how i should feel with one of my friends. i felt so torn and warn out. but God spoke to 

me. It was funny. because he was listening to all my prayers that i have been praying 

about this week. He spoke to me and John you are going to do great be a friend. a 

friend that can be there for others. even though i feel like i don’t have many friends here. 

sorry if that sounds bad. i have friends but ones i hang out with and spend time with, get 

to know and have meaningful conversations with. He was telling be just to be a good 

friend don't think of anything else just be there for them and you will be fine. I will Supply 

you with what you need and trust in me. 

I can not simply ignore that. It came from God. My Father. He sent Jesus down 

for me. he took all my sins upon that cross. How could i not follow Him. Cant you hear 

me! He died for you and for me! Thats how much he loves us. Who couldn't follow God. 

He is the only one that Loves everyone. He doesn't care what you have done. If you 

follow Him and walk along side Jesus. There are many rewards. Be faithful. even when 

it is hard. Jesus will reward you. It is not all about “good” works. Its about a relationship 

with Him. You’ve done drugs, you have been drunk and had sex. God looks at that and 

says “I love you enough that i sent my son down. I don't care i want to love you. and be 

with you in your hard time Please let me be there with you.” he is Calling out to you. Yes 

we are not perfect. He is and he comes to our level and wants to be with us. cant you 

see how amazing that is. That the almighty God, the all powerful God, the God of love 

just wants to be with you.

He Showed me tonight that i have struggles but if you talk to him about them he 

will carry you and care for you. My biggest struggle is with Relationships. but God calls 

me to be a youth pastor. i can be so terrified around people and not show it. but i will 

hide go into the background. but sometime i feel like i am the background and no one 

notices me. its true. but it takes God to show me who i really am in the troubled times. 

he loves me and he loves you. so i encourage you talk to God about whats going on in 

your life. don't be afraid that you will feel rejected. it is a battle i am still fighting. i say 

don't be afraid for you and me. i am just being real with you. If you need some one to 

talk to E-mail me Facebook me i want to talk. i want to help you. I love you guys and I 

don't care what you have done. i just want to know you and help you through as best as 

i can.

Feelings

Father, I come to you right now with mixed feelings. In many ways i am so happy. 

but there are time where i feel confused or unsure of what i am to do. Guide me For 

what you have in store in my life. may what i have to say open peoples eyes or inform 

them that there not the only ones and that there is a loving God like you. In your Sons 

Precious name, Amen.

Feelings. I want to start with that word. It defines how we feel: Happy, Sad, 

Excited, and the list goes on. It is funny lately i just have had mixed emotions about 

many things. I go threw ups and downs. Many times i want to tell people whats going on 

up in this Head of mine. For the most part i cant make sense of it. But i find what helps 

is talking to God. It is a form of clearing and organizing my mind. like wise with 

Blogging. i know i rant a lot. It is how i organize my Private world. 

Back to how feelings can change a lot of who you are. i have learned that people 

are different. I know it is a given but think about it. sometime you feel the ones close to 

you are just so in sync with who you are, the way you feel around them you feel good. 

they just feel normal they complete who you are. you seem to find out who you are if 

your aware of who you are. i want to say this though. Do not let people around mold 

who you are. Only you can do that. be strong and mold yourself who you want to be. Let 

Christ Mold who you are as well. i encourage that. we can all take something away from  

Jesus and use it to shape who we are.

Right now i have a couple friends on campus that make me feel good with who i 

am that i don’t have to hide who i am. Don’t hide who you are. You are special. i want to 

let you know that. if people put you down or don’t like you for who you are. thats there 

choice to loose some one as amazing as you. 

It is hard sometimes trying to release some part of who you are. Though’s are 

areas of your life with the most pain. you don’t want any one to see that part of you. I 

get that. I truly do. what i want to tell you. find some one you can confide in and tell 

them. if some one Loves you. they will not reject you. instead they will embrace you and 

tell you. i want to help you and be there for you.

I just paused for a moment just now... i just thought how God is Really Changing 

who i am for the Good. I feel such a Peace. As some of you know what my passion is, 

for some who don’t i want to let you know my passion is with youth. But to further that It 

goes way beyond that. it is what God has showing me I have a Passion for people. for 

you guys. God has Been burning that Fire more and more every passing day of college. 

I just love people. we are not perfect i know. but the passion is to help you. thats why i 

Blog. You are my inspiration. With out God Stoking this fire i would not write. 

Romans 8:30 “and those whom he Predestined he also called, and those whom 

he justified he also Glorified.”