A little explanation

     Hey Every one, Just an update from my last blog. I was going threw a lot lately

that i have mentioned in my prayer to God. i want to let you know that what you

were reading is my raw emotion. in the moments i did not know what i was pray

but did. For God has Given me many Friends here at College. They are amazing

friend! i couldn't wish for any better. But i can tell you how much the Enemy has

been working in my life. But i know that God is greater then anything, more

powerful, and all loving. For I want to tell you in later Blogs to come what my

past was truly like. Like what i can remember and how it has effected me. I thank

 God so much for everyone around me. the ones i can confide in and trust with who

i am.

     To my amazing friends you know who you are. Thank you for being there and

dragging me out of my room( not literally) but i needed that. with out you guys i

would probably be still moping around campus. haha

     To every one who prayed. Thank you so much for keeping me in your Prayers.

It means a lot to me. more then you know. For, ever since i got to college i felt like

no one ever prayed for me.

     Oh and this is for my amazing family! Thank you for being there i know all of

you are so far away. but leaving messages and praying for me means a lot. i miss

you so much! Never feel like your not there for me (Physicaly) But to know that

you are there praying and messaging me. that is enough. i Love you. and miss

you like crazy

     and to every one else who does not know me personally thank you for reading

and taking this journey with me!

A Prayer of Unknown Sorrow.

WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT ALONE! GOD I NEED SOME ONE!. I know I have you I know

I can fight along side you God. BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT ALONE IN THE 

LONELINESS WITH HOW COMFORT with out embrace. Thats something I miss. I wish I 

could have that embrace that love people surrounding me in this moment. When things 

are tough. Lord I know all I need is you. But I need people around me to pray for me to 

comfort me I need to feel the real thing of some ones embrace. For tears stream down my 

face. This lonely ness seeps in. WHY OH GOD! DO I FEEL LIEK THIS WHY DO I HAVE TO 

FIGHT ALONE!. God I need some one. I need your love to FIll me. I need some one. The 

Friend I need by my side the most one of them also need help. The other is helping. But I 

find I can not Interrupt I cant get the right Embrace from them. Lord why do I have a hard

 time with sharing my feelings with Guys. I cant do it. I dont feel the love fro them.  

Lord I dont know why I feel like this. LORD Why is this about me. Why does it have to be 

about right now. For my sorrow is SOOO DEEP. I Pray Lord for My friends that they will

 feel loved that they will have what I cannot. That embrace that love and someone beside

 them. I need that embrace that they have but I just simply dont deserve it. I am broken.

 Only you Lord can pick up my peaces. Lord I need you to show me what is causing this 

great sorrow in my heart.

Thank You.

         Hey Every one this is an Update to my last Post. I Thank you all who have

prayed for me. For God has  been working on me and He has been so Grateful. I am

feeling a lot more strong. for there is still times i feel defeated but God picks me

back up. But Most of all Than you so much! In the moment where i am in defeat i

learned how important prayer is. One thing to know about me. i find it hard

to receive prayer from others. For me i want others to the priority. For me to pray

for them and i expect nothing from them because i want it to be all about others. I

have found that receiving is a huge part. i am still working on it. i still find it hard

to receive anything but I know it is the right thing to do. If i also may ask for more

prayer that I wouldn't find receiving things as hard as it should be